Daughters

A little 411, the titles of my posts are from song titles that relate somewhat to what I'm saying. Just saying.

Anyways, today is father's day but to me its really just another typical day. My dad wasn't really in the majority of my life, maybe just half of the first part of my life. He kind of just left after I was 11, and then just disappeared for 6 years. Now he just comes and goes. 6 years after I turned 11, he got a hold of my number and spoke to me.

I guess he was getting remarried to some random vietnamese fobby lady from Vietnam and he wanted me to attend his wedding. Like I said, he was not there between my years of 11-17. But surprisingly, I told him that I would and I went. I didn't really want to go because it was too awkward and random. It was like we were strangers and I didn't feel that "father/daughter" connection. At this point, my mom and siblings were already living their life in Cali. I didn't know if I should tell my mom because I didn't want to remind her of the past or make her sad. Yet she found out through my aunts in boston and told me she didn't care if I went, and that I'm grown and I can speak to him if I want to :/

But if it was okay, then how come to this day I still feel guilty?? Maybe its because in the back of my mind, I ALWAYS secretly wished that they would get back together. I know for sure they still love eachother, no matter how much my mom denies it. Especially when my dad asks how my mom is, or when my mom asks how my dad is. I hate being the messenger. I wish they could just talk to eachother on the phone or something and say what they wanted to say. But I guess I can understand for them because they have new people in their lives. Hopefully, this won't happen to me one day.

In the end, although he hasn't been there for me much, he'll always be my dad. So wherever you are, HAPPY FATHER'S DAY. I hope yur thinking of me & Tiffany.